Circles

Is your video based on personal experiences?

Many people automatically assumed that because I wrote such personal lyrics, that the video was based on personal experiences too. Well, the video was not based on personal experiences. I have never been in a physically abusive relationship. However, words cause a different kind of sting and can be emotionally damaging as well.

Why then would I base the video on such a story?

Growing up, I was blessed enough to have been able to go on different outreach programs and meet so many people from all walks of life. About 2 1/2 years ago I was able to meet girls from the iFight Movement - a movement to end human trafficking. I sat there and listened to their stories about abuse and all the pain they went through at such a young age. Some of the stories I heard were unimaginable, and yet here they were fighting back and happy. I was devastated. I knew from then on that this was something I wanted to stand up for.

On my first meeting with our director Mike Carandang, he was hesitant to bring up his vision. Knowing that I am not exactly a trained actress and that I might be afraid to push myself out of my comfort zone, he was unsure if I would be up for the challenge. The challenge was to channel the other half of an equally very abusive relationship. Of course, because of the young girls I love and stand up for, I immediately knew I wanted to do it.

What is this song about?

I wrote this song around this time last year to tell the story of a relationship coming to an end. A relationship that did not lack love, but was drowning in uncontrollable circumstances. You know how it goes: you love each other so much, you both try to push your feelings aside to make it work or to make sure your partner feels safe or loved or maybe even in control. You push and push and push until one day you wake up and realise you have nothing left to give because you honestly gave your all. Is it your fault? Is it your partner's? I don't know. I don't have the answer, but this song is about exactly that.

Sometimes after a long-term, deep and meaningful relationship has lost its essence, we don't know how to let it go. Not only because the love is still there, but because we're afraid. Change is frightening. Being alone is frightening. Meeting and opening up to someone new is frightening. If you let that fear control you, it holds you back from moving forward and you end up running back to what brought you pain in the first place. Again, you try and you push and you hurt. You go in circles. 

Circles

Written by Kiana Valenciano | Arranged by Gary Valenciano

We’re stuck in this moment and nobody’s talking

You’re looking at me like we’ve been here before

Like I’ve done something wrong

I know we’re both right but you’re overreacting

And I don’t know if I can do this anymore

 

So what do we do?

Where do we go?

Do we keep trying?

We’re going in circles and we’re not the same, no more

I tell you it’s real

I tell you I’m here

But you think I’m lying

Can we go back to who we were before

 

Our tempers get short as our days grow longer

Can’t seem to move past what we’ve already said

Words we didn’t even mean

This moment can break us or make us stronger

But this is not how you and I were meant to be

 

So what do we do?

Where do we go?

Do we keep trying?

We’re going in circles and we’re not the same, no more

I tell you it’s real

I tell you I’m here

But I’m tired of fighting

Can we go back to who we were before

 

And we both won’t back down

Cause we’re both just too proud

Do you hear me, should I bother?

Do I go or should I stay?

Cause it’s all going wrong

Pretending we’re fine just to keep holding on

And as you try to pull me in

It drives me away

 

So what do we do?

Where do we go?

Why do we keep trying?

We’re going in circles and we’re not the same

I tell you it’s real

I tell you I’m here

But I’m tired of fighting

We can’t go back to who we were before

No more

No more

No more